Friday, May 15, 2009

A dilemma

Most of you who have been reading for a while know that my mom had a scare with ovarian cancer a few months back. She had to have a complete hysterectomy done and was supposed to take 6 weeks off work. She did not have any complications from the surgery itself, but has been in excrutiating intestinal and abdominal pain since the surgery.

She has been to several different doctors and had numerous tests done. The consensus has been that because her uterus was so swollen (like the size of a volleyball) that all of her internal organs got displaced. Now they are trying to get back to normal and all the moving and shifting has aggrevated her colon.

She was supposed to start back to work towards the end of April, but because of the severity of the pain, this has been her first week back to work. She has been on disability whike out of work, but when you go from making over a $1000 a week to $400 a week, it is a HUGE difference.

Money always seems to be tight for them anyway. I love my Mom but she does not always make wise financial decisions. Since the cut back in her wages things have gotten REALLY tight for them. It will be another week before she gets a normal paycheck.

I was talking to my Dad on the phone earlier and he told me he is $400 overdrawn at the bank and has no way to fix it until he gets his monthly check. (My dad is a disabled retired US Marine.)

My dilemma is this: I could send him the money to take care of that, but doing that would take most of the money we have saved for our emergency fund. If something happened to us in the next few weeks we would have nothing to fall back on. I could send them both a little money to help them out until Mom gets paid next week but not enough to bail them out or disrupt our financial security. (What little we have.) I could send them the full amount with the promise that when Mom gets paid I get our money back. The last option makes me feel bad though because my parents have done so much for me and have not asked for anything in return. Ok other than occasional monthly visits from their grandson now that we have moved so far away.

BLECH! I do not know what to do! Anyone have any thoughts?


Liz said...

That's a tough one. I'm really not sure what to do on that one. Personally, I'd maybe send a little. It may not be the most help, but you also have to do what's best for you and your "own" family all in the same. You're the "child." They're the "parents." As harsh as that sounds. I mean... I've had to bail my father out of troubles a few times. He's also had to bail me out of a few as well.
Good luck with that one. It'll be a toughie for sure.

aaensons said...

i know how much my parents have done for me so i would be the first one to send them what i had and not think twice about it. I am just that way, i know it is hard but put yourself in their shoes if you needed would they think twice about giving it to you

aaensons said...

bellingham is a wonderful place that is where I lived for 22 years before I moved to mount vernon, I love it there and would love to move back but aaron likes it where we are at and it is only 30 mins up there so not too bad

Janelle said...

I don't think there's a right answer that I could give you--there is so much to the family dynamic, and they are all unique. My advice is this, PRAY about it and see what gives you peace. Then you'll know what you should do.

Good luck!


dont think your parents would want you to get in a bind trying to help them though

Shadows of the goddess designs said...

you all ought to go next sunday to woodland park to the drum circle. Is plenty stuff to do in the park for daniel and all. Is sunday around 4 ish There are usually extra drum or two that you can borrow. You can always use mine a bit too